Today I received a DVD of Momma's funeral service. I listened carefully to the words of Rabbi Wohlberg, Alex and Amy. They talked about Momma, the kind of person she was. During our 65 years together, I never thought about that. We just lived our lives. I suppose it is like when you go on a trip or you go on vacation. Once you come home and think about it, you remember the enjoyment you had and you enjoy it over and over again. I cannot count the times that I have fondly remembered the trips we took to Israel, the many times we went to Chicago and Reno. I recall sneaking Emily to Burger King and sleeping in the motel office when we went to visit Lauren at camp. I remember taking Sheri and Lauren to Penn Dutch country to ride that old train from Intercourse to Paradise. So many memories and each one sweeter than when we actually did them.
So it is with our marriage; the great things, the good things and the not-so-good things. That first night we slept in the apartment over the store at 238 South Stricker Street, Risa in her carriage and Momma and I on a blanket on the floor; Larry and Arnold's bris in that same apartment. The move to 1512 McHenry Street when we outgrew the apartment with the birth of Marc and Phyllis. The trip to St. Agnes Hospital with Larry in my arms when he was hit by a car. The many meals Momma cooked and served at 1512 and thereafter. The fire at 1512. So many great, good and not-so-good things.
Now, sixty-five years later, our children are married and they have children of their own who have children. And then our other grandchildren will marry and have children. I have thought of some, not all, of the reasons that we have had such a good life and I will share them with you. Between Momma and I there was unconditional trust and loyalty. We knew that we could count on one another no matter what. We talked to one another, openly and candidly, and listened to what the other said. We were optimistic and had a positive attitude which gave us the strength to overcome the not-so-good things and obstacles that we encountered. We agreed that our primary goal was to raise good children and we certainly did that!
There will come a time when our grandchildren will marry. We hope that you find a mate such as Grandma and I found. In addition we wish you several other things. We wish that you have many children and grandchildren who actually like their siblings and cousins. We wish you enough wealth to accomplish what you want to accomplish and to live the life that you want to live. With these things Grandma and I know that you will lead wonderful lives, it worked for us!
When you find and marry your mate I may not be here to send you a card. I would like you to keep this writing and when that time comes, read it. And if I am here, I will write on the card, "See Life With Marcie."
– Addendum –
I wrote this at three o’clock in the morning but that is no excuse. How could I? How could I omit Lauren’s beautiful words at the funeral service. I am so sorry. I am so sorry.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Our Wedding
We were married on September 12, 1948, a hot, muggy day , at the Beth Jacob synagogue at Park Heights and Manhattan Avenue. At that time Beth Jacob consisted of a non air conditioned building which later became the gymnasium. It was so hot that the Chupah was moved out of doors to the lawn where the Beth Jacob sign now stands. The two fathers arranged the wedding; we were 21 and 23 years of age; what did we know? After we were pronounced man and wife, the rabbi, Uri Miller, said to us, “P’roo, oorvoo, oomeloo ess ha’aretz, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.” Well, we sure as hell tried, didn’t we?
Saturday, June 2, 2012
My Father sang a song ‘Did You Ever go Fishin’ on a Hot Summer’s Day” to his grandchildren (my children) and I sang it to my grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I sang it to Jacob when we were in Baltimore for Rosh Hashanah last September. Perhaps Jacob will sing it to his grandchildren and great- grandchildren.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Advice
I learned much from my parents simply by observing them in their daily lives. But when I started my first job 70 years ago at Schreiber’s Food Market, my father gave me two pieces of advice. I pass them along to you knowing that many of you have put them into practice many times.
If something is worth doing, do it right, do a little more than is expected of you.
This is particularly important and has brought me many rewards. About four months after I began working for the Department of Labor and Industry, I completed an investigation early and went to Annapolis to visit with friends that I had made when I worked in the Speaker’s office. And who do I bump into but the Deputy Commissioner. After I stammered an explanation, he told me that he was there about a piece of legislation which was stuck on the committee chairman’s desk. I invited him to come with me to the Speaker’s office where my friend, Grace Donald held sway. When I told her our problem, she picked up the phone, called the committee chairman and said, “The Speaker wants this bill on the floor for a vote tomorrow morning.” Guess who the Deputy Commissioner chose as Chief when the position came open!
When Richie finishes a bridge demolition ahead of schedule so that the highway reopens ahead of schedule, who is called for the next bridge demolition? When Rachel comes to work ahead of schedule during a snow storm, what impression does this make on her supervisor? You can probably think of many instances in your experiences where this has occurred. I consider this advice among the best that my father gave to me.
In about five hours we will take off and be in Baltimore before five o’clock. I cannot tell you how excited we are to be seeing many of you in the next five days.
If something is worth doing, do it right, do a little more than is expected of you.
This is particularly important and has brought me many rewards. About four months after I began working for the Department of Labor and Industry, I completed an investigation early and went to Annapolis to visit with friends that I had made when I worked in the Speaker’s office. And who do I bump into but the Deputy Commissioner. After I stammered an explanation, he told me that he was there about a piece of legislation which was stuck on the committee chairman’s desk. I invited him to come with me to the Speaker’s office where my friend, Grace Donald held sway. When I told her our problem, she picked up the phone, called the committee chairman and said, “The Speaker wants this bill on the floor for a vote tomorrow morning.” Guess who the Deputy Commissioner chose as Chief when the position came open!
When Richie finishes a bridge demolition ahead of schedule so that the highway reopens ahead of schedule, who is called for the next bridge demolition? When Rachel comes to work ahead of schedule during a snow storm, what impression does this make on her supervisor? You can probably think of many instances in your experiences where this has occurred. I consider this advice among the best that my father gave to me.
In about five hours we will take off and be in Baltimore before five o’clock. I cannot tell you how excited we are to be seeing many of you in the next five days.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Patterns
It is amazing how we pattern our lives to live like our parents and grandparents. We observe their behavior, their traits, their ideals, discard that which we do not like and mimic those which we admire. There are traits that we do not admire yet we do not discard them. Often child abusers have been themselves abused and alcoholics have had an alcoholic parent. There are traits that we do not admire and do not mimic but later in our lifetimes, we come to the realization that they were correct.
My Father, William, was a strong individual with strong convictions. He insisted that I attend Baltimore Hebrew College after Bar Mitzvah. I did not have the basics for it and failed miserably after one year. He relented. He insisted that I attend University of Maryland, School of Pharmacy. I hated it; did well, finished the year but I hated it. Therefore I did not insist that my children attend college and stay there. Fortunately, they all turned out well, very well. But I should have insisted. He was generous with his time and his material possessions. Family was very important to him and we had relatives living with us, at no cost to them, until I was 13 years old. My grandmother and two maiden aunts had to go so my father and Uncle Dave rented and apartment for them and later bought a duplex on Wylie Avenue for them. He insisted that we children contribute to the household. I did not get paid for cutting the grass! Sound familiar?
William was honest. During World War II, he was manager of the Baltimore branch of the Independent Lock Company which manufactured locks and keys. They were in very short supply during the war, and he was offered bribes to sell them more than they were entitled to. He did not and sold the products evenly. Many times he stopped at a hardware store on his way home to adjust a key cutting machine at no cost to the hardware store. He was active in his synagogue, first Petach Tikvah on Denmore Avenue and then Beth Jacob. He gave ten years as a volunteer to Bais Yaacov School for Girls on Greenspring Avenue. My Mother, Esther, volunteered at Sinai Hospital, first on Baltimore Street and then on Greenspring Avenue for many, many years. (Ask Harry Zemel). She rode three different streetcars to get to Baltimore Street.
Many lessons my parents taught me stick in my mind. “If you are going to do something, do it right. It is no easier if you do it wrong.” “Do a little more than the boss expects you to do.” “Do not say or do something if it does not accomplish anything and self-satisfaction is not an accomplishment.”
My parents were thrifty. They were able to spend their retirement years without seeking financial help from their children.
So look at your parents and grandparents. You will eventually be their age and have similar circumstances. You will have a pattern to guide you; to mimic or reject.
Choose wisely.
My Father, William, was a strong individual with strong convictions. He insisted that I attend Baltimore Hebrew College after Bar Mitzvah. I did not have the basics for it and failed miserably after one year. He relented. He insisted that I attend University of Maryland, School of Pharmacy. I hated it; did well, finished the year but I hated it. Therefore I did not insist that my children attend college and stay there. Fortunately, they all turned out well, very well. But I should have insisted. He was generous with his time and his material possessions. Family was very important to him and we had relatives living with us, at no cost to them, until I was 13 years old. My grandmother and two maiden aunts had to go so my father and Uncle Dave rented and apartment for them and later bought a duplex on Wylie Avenue for them. He insisted that we children contribute to the household. I did not get paid for cutting the grass! Sound familiar?
William was honest. During World War II, he was manager of the Baltimore branch of the Independent Lock Company which manufactured locks and keys. They were in very short supply during the war, and he was offered bribes to sell them more than they were entitled to. He did not and sold the products evenly. Many times he stopped at a hardware store on his way home to adjust a key cutting machine at no cost to the hardware store. He was active in his synagogue, first Petach Tikvah on Denmore Avenue and then Beth Jacob. He gave ten years as a volunteer to Bais Yaacov School for Girls on Greenspring Avenue. My Mother, Esther, volunteered at Sinai Hospital, first on Baltimore Street and then on Greenspring Avenue for many, many years. (Ask Harry Zemel). She rode three different streetcars to get to Baltimore Street.
Many lessons my parents taught me stick in my mind. “If you are going to do something, do it right. It is no easier if you do it wrong.” “Do a little more than the boss expects you to do.” “Do not say or do something if it does not accomplish anything and self-satisfaction is not an accomplishment.”
My parents were thrifty. They were able to spend their retirement years without seeking financial help from their children.
So look at your parents and grandparents. You will eventually be their age and have similar circumstances. You will have a pattern to guide you; to mimic or reject.
Choose wisely.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Cure for Depression
I was sitting at my desk very depressed. I had just had a very bad day. I was full of self-pity, feeling sorry for myself. “I am going to be eighty-six years old; what in hell have I accomplished in all those years?” I thought.
I began to straighten up my desk and found a large manila envelope bulging with old photographs. There was one of Larry and Arnold at their second birthday party in the kitchen behind the store at 238 South Stricker Street, their faces smeared with icing and a glazed look in their eyes from too much birthday cake. There was one of a twelve year old Risa sitting on the Wishing Well at Peter Pan Inn in Frederick. There was Momma fixing sandwiches at a picnic in Leakin Park. There was a photograph of a six year old Lauren with missing front teeth. I gathered them all up and walked out of the office past the sofa table holding all the photographs of the children, the grandchildren and the great-grandchildren and sat under the three pictures of Daniel’s and Debra’s Bnei Mitzvohs. I picked up the book that Sheri had made us for our sixtieth wedding anniversary and leafed through it. I then knew what I had accomplished in eighty-six years and my depression vanished.
Take a lot of pictures and videos of your children and grandchildren. Works better than Effexor for depression!
I began to straighten up my desk and found a large manila envelope bulging with old photographs. There was one of Larry and Arnold at their second birthday party in the kitchen behind the store at 238 South Stricker Street, their faces smeared with icing and a glazed look in their eyes from too much birthday cake. There was one of a twelve year old Risa sitting on the Wishing Well at Peter Pan Inn in Frederick. There was Momma fixing sandwiches at a picnic in Leakin Park. There was a photograph of a six year old Lauren with missing front teeth. I gathered them all up and walked out of the office past the sofa table holding all the photographs of the children, the grandchildren and the great-grandchildren and sat under the three pictures of Daniel’s and Debra’s Bnei Mitzvohs. I picked up the book that Sheri had made us for our sixtieth wedding anniversary and leafed through it. I then knew what I had accomplished in eighty-six years and my depression vanished.
Take a lot of pictures and videos of your children and grandchildren. Works better than Effexor for depression!
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